Let's presume, that you need to move an Euro-pallet from point A to point B and you have one of this Jungheinrich's babies ready and waiting for your touch. So, what about now?Every warehouse I worked in was full of security cameras and bosses and critics are watching on every step you make, so shakes are quite natural. Especially if you are beginner and you didn't score high in school. Nobody cares as long as you get shit done proper-like, wink, wink.
Manipulation of this »machines« can be deadly, mind you! So you'd better do it right or someone (you or your co-worker, doesn't really make much difference to the business) can get head smashed open by a fallen box or even an Euro-fucking-pallet. You might not wash the blood off your hands. Ever.
But do not fright, b'cause we have a solution (for a matter of Christ)! This method of mine works every time and it works completely perfect...-ly – like a fucking charm or something gorgeous like that.
All you have to do for me at this point is that you manage to differentiate between front and rear end of your electric stacker truck. Front is where your forks are!
Anyway.
Oh, about a pallet: if you can't figure it out where ends meet, I'll fire you myself, motherfucker!
Step One: drive your Jungheinrich with forks rec-tan-gul-arly to the »entrance line« of pallet. Make sure you're distanced from it at least for a length between front tires and tip of your forks.
Step Two: place your »machine« so that the nearest »entrance point« of the pallet's »entrance line« is in line with the tire of your Jungheinrichie that's next to it. Got it, right? I hope you all got it, b'cause I can't pencil for sheit!
Step Three: somebody better pay me for the wisdomalies I'm sharing to-night... with you for absolutely free, mind you.
Step Four: move your handle shtick for 90 percent angle, it must look like you are choosing the pallet for an ally.
Step Five: slowly evolve it and when in line with »entrance points« of the pallet, straighten the handle and drive the forks forward under pallet. And it's the same when a pallet is on a shelf in the middle of the fucking sky. ;-)
Remember: always do them slowly, bitch, b'cause there can be only one and I'm signing this, so... Yeah.
I named this method after Alejandro Jodorowsky after his psychomagic for it works like magic even under stressful surrounding every true warehouse provides.
A good boss knows the opportunity for clapping hands when he/she sees one! ;-)
*Psychomagic is the name of a therapeutic practice used by Alejandro Jodorowsky. The technique is alleged to be useful in psychotherapy. It combines art, Eastern philosophies (particularly Zen Buddhism), mysticism and modern psychotherapy to allegedly heal patients with emotional problems. The principle relies on the belief that the unconscious mind takes a symbolic act as a fact. So a symbolic act could accordingly help solve some types of non rational conflicts. These acts are prescribed by the therapist after having studied the patient's personality and family tree. This practice is shown in the documentary film Quantum Men, starring Cristobal (Axel), son of Alejandro, and directed by Carlos Serrano Azcona. (Wikipedja)
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